


The Songs You Sing

by bigenderbabe



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, also the gay is real lowkey in the first chapter. there's gonna be more in the 2nd so dw, jeremy likes to listen to michael sing, michael sings in the shower, pt 2 of me thinking michael's secretly a good singer, the majority of the first chapter is fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:24:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigenderbabe/pseuds/bigenderbabe
Summary: Since when did Michael sing in the shower? And since when does Jeremy sing along?





	1. lose it

**Author's Note:**

> okay this concept is really weird but i swear i saw a tumblr post with the headcanon of jeremy sitting outside the bathroom door when michael showers and listens to him sing. i listened to the bird & the worm by owl city and i just imagined them singing it together and it made me really happy so i had to write it. beware: upcoming angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter named after lose it by swmrs <3

Jeremy wasn't sure when it started, but after he heard Michael singing in the shower for the first time, he wasn't sure he could forget. 

It was just a regular Friday night, Michael was staying over at Jeremy's house to play video games and veg out after a long week, like they usually did. Michael wanted to grab a shower before they settled into their pajamas and started their late night binge of Apocalypse of The Damned and Jeremy complied, letting him use his shower. Which, again, wasn't unusual. 

What was unusual was the muffled melody coming from behind the bathroom door. Jeremy was just passing by the bathroom to go and get some snacks, when he heard a verse of a familiar tune. 

_"I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days, 'cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone,"_ Michael's voice rang clear through the door this time.

Michael's voice was a sweet sound, and Jeremy loved to hear it. He was pretty familiar with it as well, after 12 years of friendship he had endured a lot of karaoke, road trip sing alongs and Michael just bursting into song at random points in a conversation. But, he had yet to hear him sing in the shower. 

The name of the song was Vanilla Twilight. Michael had begun an Owl City binge a few weeks prior and Jeremy was pretty sure he had heard every song that was created by that band at this point. The song in question was one of Michael's favorites. Jeremy's mind flashed to a voicemail Michael had left him one night, of him just crying over how much he loved that song. It was a good song, Jeremy couldn't argue against that (and if he could, he's pretty sure Michael would kill him in his sleep). Needless to say, Jeremy was familiar with it, and maybe more familiar with it than he thought.

Without thinking, Jeremy crooned out the following lines of the song. _"But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night,"_ He was a bit surprised he knew the lyrics and was confident enough to sing them out loud. 

His face went red. Why did he do that? That was weird. God, Michael's going to think he's weird for listening to him shower! 

A silence filled the air, while Michael tried to process where the _fuck_ Jeremy had materialized from and why he was singing along with him. It wasn't unwelcome, as Michael thought his best friend had a beautiful voice, he was more so confused as to how Jeremy knew the lyrics to the song and, more importantly, why he was listening to him shower.

After a prolonged pause, Michael continued the song, while causally shampooing his hair, _"Waist deep in thought because when I think of you I don't feel so alone,"_

Jeremy joined him in the last few lyrics, harmonizing with Michael. It was a truly magical experience to be involved in. 

Michael finished up his shower quickly, eager to get out and discuss the bizarre, yet beautiful, moment that they just shared.

—

After this occurrence Jeremy started sitting out the bathroom door while Michael showered. Which, he must admit, was a bit weird, but Jeremy would totally do anything to hear Michael's voice.

Every shower was a new tune. Sometimes Jeremy would join in, harmonizing or just plain singing along with his best friend through the door, or he would just sit and listen. 

Over the next year or so, they'd sing more Owl City (Jeremy's favorite being their rendition of Meteor Shower), some showtunes (Jeremy really liked to listen to Michael sing All That's Known from Spring Awakening), older pop punk songs that they both remember from their respective emo phases in middle school (Michael's favorite being their screamo style cover of Mr. Brightside by The Killers), and whatever Michael's current music obsession was at that point in time. It was a nice tradition that both of the boys cherished.

The last time they did this, they did a duet of "The Bird and The Worm" by Owl City.  
At this point, Michael's love of Owl City had rubbed off on Jeremy, who was now getting really into his "performance" of this particular song. Michael had taken lead at the beginning, with Jeremy just doing the backing and harmonies, but it slowly flipped. Jeremy took over and sang his little heart out, and didn't notice how his dad poked his head out of his office and gave him a look, not understanding the boy's ritual. 

After Michael had finished showering, the pair settled into their bean bags in the Heere's basement. 

"Jer, I don't think I tell you this enough, but you've got, like, an amazing voice," Michael said as the title page of Netflix appeared on the screen.

Jeremy's laugh rang out, "You _do_ tell me enough, dude, but uh, thanks," 

Michael turned to face his friend, "You should try out of the school musical!" his face light up with excitement at this s sudden idea.

"I don't know, Mike, I'm not that great of an actor. Plus, I'm pretty sure I'll get called gay even more if I get in a 10 foot proximity of the sign up sheet," Jeremy's face turned red, he fiddled with the edge of his t-shirt.

"Uh, I'm calling bull on that," Michael said, laughing slightly, "I saw you in that production of The Crucible in eighth grade, you made an awesome John Proctor,"

Jeremy giggled at the mention of the so called "production" his friend mentioned,  
"Dude, that was English class and we _had_ to act it out," 

Michael shrugged, picking up the remote and starting to scroll through the available movies, "I know what I said," 

Jeremy sighed, leaving it at that.

Michael spoke up after a few moments, "You might get closer to Christine if you try out," his voice was hushed, almost like he didn't really want to be saying that.

Jeremy perked up a bit at the mention of Christine, the girl he's had a giant crush on since freshman year.

"You're right, Mikes!" He seemed to actually be considering singing up now, "I'm gonna do it!"

Michael cheered quietly beside him, letting Jeremy be confident in his decision.

—

A week later, Jeremy got his SQUIP and left Michael behind. 

He would never tell Jeremy this but, in the bathroom at Jake's party, Michael had sat in the bathtub and quietly hummed Vanilla Twilight to himself while he broke down. Because even in that moment, after Jeremy hurt Michael so terribly, thinking of him made Michael not feel so alone. He could pretend he wasn't alone in a bathtub that suddenly felt like he was drowning in. 

Michael didn't sing in the shower after that night.


	2. with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _An act of kindness_   
>  _Is what you show to me_   
>  _It caught me by surprise in this town of glass and ice_   
>  _Kindness, so many people pass me by_   
>  _But you warm me to my core and you left me wanting more_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told y'all michael would get the love and attention he deserves (^;
> 
> songs mentioned bc i didn't list the names of either of them:  
> -an act of kindness by bastille  
> -salvation by carolina liar 
> 
> chapter named for with you by dave hause (and the mermaid) which i almost used at the end of the chapter, but salvation fit better. 
> 
> also!! sorry this is so short dhjdhdnd i've been busy with camp and haven't had time to write/be interested in fanfic and i wanted to wrap this up real quick before i move onto another musical to fixate on 
> 
> check out my tumblr: @anniestelescope <3

The next few months were weird. Days of corrupt super computers, self hatred, time spent alone and Mountain Dew Red dragged by. Just an average school year for the regular Middlebrough High student, right? 

After the events of the play Michael and Jeremy attempted to patch up their friendship. They had spent many nights sitting in Michael's basement, pouring out their feelings from the depths of their minds for the other to see. 

Michael didn't bring up how he hadn't sung in the shower since Jeremy left him Jake's bathroom. He didn't want Jeremy to know that another one of his favorite things was poisoned by the SQUIP. He didn't bring up how he had barely showered while Jeremy was gone. He couldn't even tell if what caused the lack of self care was the depression he was in or the fact he couldn't stand to not have Jeremy outside the door, singing some song. 

Michael didn't bring up how he had realized he loved Jeremy while he was gone. He didn't mention how even though he was supposed to be mad at his best friend, he couldn't. He just wanted him to come back and hold him and maybe kiss him.

Jeremy wouldn't bring up how halfway through the time he was SQUIPed he realized that he didn't want Christine anymore. He wanted to be friends with her, sure, but she wasn't the one that he wanted to be with. He wanted Michael. The SQUIP didn't like that realization, it ruined all of the progress made towards him and Christine's relationship. It hid those emotions with Optic Nerve Blocking and shocks sent up Jeremy's spine. 

It was starting to get better, but it hadn't returned to their regular routine yet. There were still days where Jeremy would avoid Michael, hours where Michael would hide behind a shower curtain with anxiety gnawing away at his bones, and moments when the air around the two boys would become stale with awkwardness. But they were working through it. 

——

Michael had stayed over at Jeremy's plenty of times since the SQUIP incident, but only a handful of times had he showered over there. He had started planning his showers so he wouldn't need to shower at Jeremy's house. He didn't want Jeremy to figure out that he didn't sing anymore, he didn't want Jeremy to blame himself even though he was pretty much the reason Michael stopped singing in the shower. He knew Jeremy was dealing with his own trauma and didn't want him to feel worse than he already did. 

The first time he had showered at Jeremy's, it was painfully silent. Michael had been too tired to take a shower the night before and felt too greasy to deal with himself for the duration of the school day, so Jeremy let him use his shower. He could tell his friend was sitting outside the door, waiting for him to start singing, but it never happened. 

The pair didn't speak of it when Michael was all dry and ready to play video games 

The next time he showered, Jeremy had attempted to start the singing. 

His voice shook as he sang out the first verse of a Bastille song, _"An act of kindness is what you show to me. None more than I can take, oh none more than I can take. Kindness is what you showed to me, It holds me 'til I ache, overflow, and start to break,"_

Michael knew the song, Jeremy had shown him a few Bastille songs in their freshman year which sparked an obsession on Michael's part. He still kept up with them and enjoyed their latest album. 

The song Jeremy was singing fit their situation all too well. He had mentioned several times that he didn't think Michael should have forgiven him, saying he still felt guilty. The song basically lamented the same feeling. 

Jeremy continued on, but Michael didn't join. He couldn't, it didn't feel right. So Michael remained silent, washing his hair, pretending that the sadness that seeped into Jeremy's voice didn't make his stomach twist. 

Jeremy's voice faded out towards the end of the song, the last line was barely audible over the roar of the shower but Michael heard it. 

_"And you want nothing in return, I feel guilty, I feel guilty,"_

Once the pair were situated on the coach in Jeremy's basement, sitting a respectable distance apart did Jeremy finally bring up what happened while Michael was showering.

"U-uh why didn't you sing in the shower today?" His voice was uncertain and quiet.

Michael stayed silent. He _really_ didn't want to talk about it. All he wanted was a regular night with no crying, but here he was, on the verge of tears at the thought of telling Jeremy what was wrong.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" 

He knew that, of course he did. 

"It's just— when you left me it didn't feel right to sing anymore. I didn't have any reason to sing." Michael couldn't make eye contact with his friend. 

Jeremy was quiet for a moment before he was almost sitting in Michael's lap.

"Fuck, Michael— You know I care about you a lot, right?"

And then Jeremy was kissing him, his hands squishing Michael's cheeks slightly as he held his face. The pair stayed stick still for a beat for Michael gripped his friend's cardigan and kissed back. 

Jeremy retreated first, leaning his forehead again Michael's and grinning. All felt right again.

———

The next time Michael showered he sang. His voice was raspy and it hurt a bit, but it felt good. He had found his reason to sing again in Jeremy's kiss.

When he showered at his boyfriends house, he sang and Jeremy joined in happily. 

_"No matter how long, I'd lie and did you wrong. I've done my time, oh, God knows that I've learned and I need you. Salvation lies within you, you know it's true. Until I die I will love you, you know it's true."_


End file.
